Bigger, Longer, and Uncut

I just realized that this year is the tenth anniversary of the release of the South Park movie. I've been celebrating by listening to the sound track constantly.

This will probably be old news to most of you, but I only found this recently. During the movie making process, the MPAA gave some input so the movie would not gain the dreaded NC-17 rating (causing movie theaters not to show it). This is the memo that Matt Stone (one of the creators of South Park) sent to the MPAA, updating them on their progress:



Or the version you can actually read:

Here is our new cut of the South Park movie to submit to the MPAA. I wanted to tell you exactly what notes we did and did not address.

1. We left in both the "fisting" and the "rimjob" references in the counselor's office scene. We did cut the word "hole" from "asshole" as per our conversation.

2. We took out the entire "God has fucked me in the ass so many times..." It is gone.

3. Although it is not animated yet, we put a new storyboard in for clarification in the scene with Saddam Hussein's penis. The intent now is that you never see Saddam's real penis, he in fact is using dildos both times.

4. We have the shot animated that reveals the fact that Winona is not shooting ping-pong balls from her vagina. She is, in fact, hitting the balls with a ping-pong paddle.

5. We took out the only reference to "cum-sucking ass" in the film. It was in the counselor's office and we took it out.

6. We left in the scenes with Cartman's mom and the horse as per our conversation. This is the one joke we really want to fight for.

Call with any questions

Matt

P.S. This is my favorite memo ever.

This is my favorite memo ever as well.

Hands Off My Joojoo!

Formerly named the Crunchpad, Fusion Garage's new web browsing device, the "Joojoo" aims to take the market from the iPhone and iPod touch.

The Joojoo

You may not be able to tell from the picture, but the Joojoo is a gigantic (as compared to the iPod touch) 12 inches diagonally. If you're looking for a portable device, this probably isn't it.

I'm dying to know why they made the name change. I'll agree that Crunchpad isn't the most eloquent of names, but Joojoo? I'm feeling some antisemitism in this company. Pretty soon, everyone's going to want to "own a Joojoo". I thought we were past this.

What this device is good for:
Web browsing
and...
Well, that's pretty much it. It's operating system is a modified version of Linux that has been stripped of almost all functionality. Want to run an iPhone app? Sorry, no can do. Want to run any sort of Linux application? Again, sorry.

The final blow to the device is it's $500 price tag. Really? I'm not sure of anyone who is going to spend $500 for a web browser. Add some Linux functionality and I may be tempted, until then this looks like a fun toy for the rich.

(via CNET news)

East Coast Gay-Off?

The still too close to call mayor's race in Atlanta has turned, well, fabulous. With gay people compromising over 12 percent of the vote in Atlanta, there is a race to be the more gay candidate. It's time for you to decide:

Mary Norwood (left), Kasim Reed (right)

Mary is pro gay marriage while Kasim would only like to see civil unions. It's nice to see that even though America is violently homophobic sometimes that there are still some places where it's good to be gay.

So, it's up to you, who is more gay?

(via The L.A. Times)

Google is Taking Over the World

Google's new feature Sidewiki allows you to comment on every web page you come across. Thus proving that Google bought way more servers than it's ever going to use.

The feature is slated as a way to explain what a web page is about. I can't imagine that the comments are going to stay productive or in any way civilized. I can just imagine the shit storm that's going to happen on Answers in Genesis or any other controversial web page.

Click for Sidewiki's homepage

Good luck with the server overload Google.

It's Jesus!

He's appeared in pancakes and on doors. And he won't stop until we realize that he appears on arbitrary objects to make us feel better.

Jesus, or something.

It looks like the virgin Mary to me, or an alien (see the antenna cleverly disguised as steam holes). Mary Jo (the woman who discovered Jesus) says that "life is going to be good" and that this is proof that "he's listening". Maybe you're just bad at ironing clothes, and can't do it without burning them. But, of course, that's all God's plan too.

(via KansasCity.com)

Texas Bans Marriage

I guess I'm being something of a gay rights activist today, but this one is too funny to pass up. In an attempt to prevent gay people from getting married, Texas lawmakers may have inadvertently banned all marriage in the state. I guess that's Texas for you.

The clause in question says that "marriage in this state shall consist only of the union of one man and one woman." Ok, on point so far, moving on. "This state or a political subdivision of this state may not create or recognize any legal status identical or similar to marriage." Oops, the state can't recognize anything identical to marriage? Hmm, what is identical to marriage. Oh, that's right, marriage.

The apparent intention of this badly worded clause was to prevent civil unions and domestic partnerships for same sex partners. It does that, but they went a little too broad. So Texans, until this constitutional amendment can be repealed or changed, no marriages for anyone. Thank Greg Abbott for his mistake.

(via Miami Herald)

Homophobes Boycott Scholastic

I think gay bigotry has reached an all time high. These crazies are boycotting an entire publisher (Scholastic Books) over one book, that doesn't have anything to do with gay people. They are boycotting because one of the four main characters happens to have lesbian parents. The book, "Love Ya Bunches" is targeted toward 9-12 year olds. Which of course makes it all the worse, we wouldn't want our children to not be bigots.

This is the product description from Amazon:

What do Katie-Rose, Yasaman, Milla, and Violet all have in common? Other than being named after flowers, practically nothing. Katie-Rose is a film director in training. Yasaman is a computer whiz. Milla is third in command of the A list. And Violet is the new girl in school. They’re fab girls, all of them, but they sure aren’t friends. And if evil queen bee Medusa— ’scuse me, Modessa—has her way, they never will be. But this is the beginning of a new school year, when anything can happen and social worlds can collide . . .

Told in Lauren Myracle’s inventive narrative style—here a fresh mix of instant messages, blog posts, screenplay, and straight narrative—Luv Ya Bunches, the first in a four-book series, is a funny, honest depiction of the shifting alliances and rivalries that shape school days, and of the lasting friendships that blossom from the skirmishes.

Where is the pro-gay message? How homophobic do you have to be to scour through all of the books your children read, paranoid about gay characters. Of course, these people see the secret gay agenda behind Scholastic Books:

Clearly, homosexual activists recognize the potential Scholastic Books has to transform the views of impressionable children.

Clearly. I agree, children are impressionable to being "nice" and recognizing everyone as "equal". We have to work together while they're young to turn them into little hate filled bigots, just like their parents.

The rest of the message lists the way you can contact Scholastic Books and harass them. I sincerely hope Scholastic doesn't back down on this one.