Lord Blackwood = Lord Jesus *Sherlock Holmes Spoilers Within*

Executed, buried in a tomb under guard, only to rise from the dead three days later. Sound familiar? The story is shared by both Jesus and Lord Blackwood in the newest rendition of Sherlock Holmes.

*Stop reading if you haven't seen the movie, or care that the movie is about to be ruined for you*

Lord Blackwood & Jesus

Of course, at the end of the movie we find out that Lord Blackwood is a farce and all of his "magical" accomplishments can be explained away with clever logical deduction and science.

Lord Blackwood uses his "magical powers" to gain followers (who admit that they have faith). He also uses fear of retribution (death) to ensure his followers' loyalty. His followers, as a token of loyalty, drink wine from a chalice. He uses his apparent power of resurrection to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is has supernatural powers.

Jesus uses his "magical powers" to gain followers (who admit that they have faith). He uses fear of retribution (hell) to ensure his followers' loyalty. His followers, as a token of loyalty, drink wine from a chalice. He uses his power of resurrection to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that he has supernatural powers.

Through the transitive property of fictional characters we can now establish a couple of things. Jesus is a farce and all of his "magical" accomplishments can be explained away with clever logical deduction and science. That is, according to the writers of Sherlock Holmes (I may have put a few words in their mouth).

In summary: epic win for Hollywood.

First Transgender White House Appointee

Amanda Simpson could be the first transgender person to be appointed by a U.S. president (nobody seems to know). Her new title is senior technical adviser in the Bureau of Industry and Security. She seems highly qualified, with 30+ years of experience in the security industry.

Amanda Simpson

Of course, the bigoted idiots see this as Obama's plan to "radicalize" the government. What part of dressing and acting the way you feel makes you a radical? I feel like a guy, so I dress like a guy, watch out I'm a crazy radical too! Does it really matter what I have in my pants?

Amanda is a crazy radical, but saying things like this is in no way radical and stupid:

1. Yes, I think this person is a freak and a deviant
2. Yes, Obama seems to scrape the bottom of the barrel to find the most deviant, radical, and insane people he can find and put them in positions of power

Thanks random crazy person, for making my hope for humanity die a little. I didn't realize the "bottom of the barrel" meant finding the most qualified person and appointing them regardless of their sexual identity.

It's Jesus!

He's appeared in pancakes and on doors. And he won't stop until we realize that he appears on arbitrary objects to make us feel better.

Jesus, or something.

It looks like the virgin Mary to me, or an alien (see the antenna cleverly disguised as steam holes). Mary Jo (the woman who discovered Jesus) says that "life is going to be good" and that this is proof that "he's listening". Maybe you're just bad at ironing clothes, and can't do it without burning them. But, of course, that's all God's plan too.

(via KansasCity.com)

Christians Pro "Hate Crimes"

A couple of weeks ago, President Obama passed the new hate crimes law "Matthew Shepard and James Byrd Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act". Christians are screaming foul. They say this violates their first amendment rights. Your first amendment right to hate people? I think I missed that one.

As protest, Christians held a rally, quoting bible verses such as "And they that commit such things are worthy of death." I wonder if Jesus would be out there protesting loving people. Jesus must have said something about homosexuality being wrong. Oh wait, he didn't. Go home Christians.

(via WorldNetDaily)

Oh Indiana, Why am I not Surprised?

Indianapolis schools ban "Alternative spirituality/belief" websites. This includes Wicca, Witchcraft, Satanism, and of course Atheism. Wait, what? Since when is Atheism "Alternative spirituality" or even an alternative belief for that matter. There are far more people that say they don't believe in God (~9%) then there are that identify as Jews (~2%).

The official policy goes on to say that alternative spirituality/belief "Includes sites that endorse or offer methods, means of instruction, or other resources to effect real events through the use of spells, incantations, curses, and magic powers". Not only do they have no idea how badly they miscategorized "Atheism", they also seem to believe that real events in fact can be influenced by "magic".

Of course, they don't ban the bible and all of it's sexual acts and murder, or other "main stream" religions. Those are acceptable crazy beliefs. My opinion of Indiana (especially the Indianapolis public school system, which has enough problems as it is) is going down by the day.

Don't Respect My Religion (or Lackthereof)

The Purdue newspaper published an article today titled "If religions are fated to clash, let's clash with respect". I hold the position that you only respect things that deserve respect. The religions she lists that we should respect are "Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, Wicca, Taoism, Pastafarianism". How about those with no religion? We don't have to respect those people? Or did she sneak "Pastafarianism" in there to appease the Atheists?

The message I get from just the first paragraph is that it's better to worship something ridiculous (i.e. Flying Spaghetti Monsters, Jesus, etc.) than not to worship anything at all. Great, so I can worship a potted plant and get more respect from Kelly than if I live my life based on evidence.

She goes on to tell a story about how a Christian was appalled at how children in other countries are taken to worship Buddha. This same lady apparently doesn't see the parallels between those children worshiping Buddha and her children worshiping Jesus. At least those children don't ceremonially eat Buddha every week.

The article goes down hill from there. "I’m a Christian, but I do not look at other religions as wrong in any way." If she doesn't look at other religions as wrong in "any way" then why is she a Christian? You have to look at other people's belief as wrong in some way, sorry, that's how it works. Not to mention that your religion (Christianity) specifically mentions that everyone else is wrong in every way, and they are all going to hell. Kelly can look over small technicalities like this.

She goes on to scold the Christian that was bad mouthing the Buddhists. Why is religion automatically off limits for any sort of critical analysis?

"As long as the religion is not harming anyone, what difference does it make? I’m firmly against any religion that believes in, say, murdering for fun, but that was clearly not the case." She did say she was a Christian right? I hate to break the news to you, but the Christian God seems to kill, and tell other people to kill, quite a lot. Not to mention the bigotry and hate spread throughout the bible.

"When settlers came to the United States to try to acquire land, we all know they were not very nice to the Native Americans. In addition to their kind gifts of small pox blankets, the settlers forced many Native Americans to convert to some form of Christianity. Native American religions have been lost because of this. These religions were usually very spiritual and nature-oriented, and some featured female deities, which is rare in present culture." Some featured female deities?! Are we deciding what to believe based on our feminist leanings now? Right, that sounds like a fun God, so I'll believe that one. Who needs evidence when you have personal preference.

This version of "respect" seems to mean ignore your differences and move on with your life (there's something to be said for that). I'm going to give this one a try, I'm going to ignore Kelly's strange ideas and move on with my life.