Binary Soup

Lord Blackwood = Lord Jesus Sherlock Holmes Spoilers Within

2010-01-06T12:00:00.001-05:00

Executed, buried in a tomb under guard, only to rise from the dead three days later. Sound familiar? The story is shared by both Jesus and Lord Blackwood in the newest rendition of Sherlock Holmes.

*Stop reading if you haven't seen the movie, or care that the movie is about to be ruined for you*

Lord Blackwood & Jesus

Of course, at the end of the movie we find out that Lord Blackwood is a farce and all of his "magical" accomplishments can be explained away with clever logical deduction and science.

Lord Blackwood uses his "magical powers" to gain followers (who admit that they have faith). He also uses fear of retribution (death) to ensure his followers' loyalty. His followers, as a token of loyalty, drink wine from a chalice. He uses his apparent power of resurrection to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is has supernatural powers.

Jesus uses his "magical powers" to gain followers (who admit that they have faith). He uses fear of retribution (hell) to ensure his followers' loyalty. His followers, as a token of loyalty, drink wine from a chalice. He uses his power of resurrection to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that he has supernatural powers.

Through the transitive property of fictional characters we can now establish a couple of things. Jesus is a farce and all of his "magical" accomplishments can be explained away with clever logical deduction and science. That is, according to the writers of Sherlock Holmes (I may have put a few words in their mouth).

In summary: epic win for Hollywood.

First Transgender White House Appointee

2010-01-05T12:35:00.004-05:00

Amanda Simpson could be the first transgender person to be appointed by a U.S. president (nobody seems to know). Her new title is senior technical adviser in the Bureau of Industry and Security. She seems highly qualified, with 30+ years of experience in the security industry.

Amanda Simpson

Of course, the bigoted idiots see this as Obama's plan to "radicalize" the government. What part of dressing and acting the way you feel makes you a radical? I feel like a guy, so I dress like a guy, watch out I'm a crazy radical too! Does it really matter what I have in my pants?

Amanda is a crazy radical, but saying things like this is in no way radical and stupid:

1. Yes, I think this person is a freak and a deviant
2. Yes, Obama seems to scrape the bottom of the barrel to find the most deviant, radical, and insane people he can find and put them in positions of power

Thanks random crazy person, for making my hope for humanity die a little. I didn't realize the "bottom of the barrel" meant finding the most qualified person and appointing them regardless of their sexual identity.

Bigger, Longer, and Uncut

2009-12-15T12:51:00.004-05:00

I just realized that this year is the tenth anniversary of the release of the South Park movie. I've been celebrating by listening to the sound track constantly.

This will probably be old news to most of you, but I only found this recently. During the movie making process, the MPAA gave some input so the movie would not gain the dreaded NC-17 rating (causing movie theaters not to show it). This is the memo that Matt Stone (one of the creators of South Park) sent to the MPAA, updating them on their progress:

Or the version you can actually read:

Here is our new cut of the South Park movie to submit to the MPAA. I wanted to tell you exactly what notes we did and did not address.

1. We left in both the "fisting" and the "rimjob" references in the counselor's office scene. We did cut the word "hole" from "asshole" as per our conversation.

2. We took out the entire "God has fucked me in the ass so many times..." It is gone.

3. Although it is not animated yet, we put a new storyboard in for clarification in the scene with Saddam Hussein's penis. The intent now is that you never see Saddam's real penis, he in fact is using dildos both times.

4. We have the shot animated that reveals the fact that Winona is not shooting ping-pong balls from her vagina. She is, in fact, hitting the balls with a ping-pong paddle.

5. We took out the only reference to "cum-sucking ass" in the film. It was in the counselor's office and we took it out.

6. We left in the scenes with Cartman's mom and the horse as per our conversation. This is the one joke we really want to fight for.

Call with any questions

Matt

P.S. This is my favorite memo ever.

This is my favorite memo ever as well.

Hands Off My Joojoo!

2009-12-07T20:30:00.000-05:00

Formerly named the Crunchpad, Fusion Garage's new web browsing device, the "Joojoo" aims to take the market from the iPhone and iPod touch.

The Joojoo

You may not be able to tell from the picture, but the Joojoo is a gigantic (as compared to the iPod touch) 12 inches diagonally. If you're looking for a portable device, this probably isn't it.

I'm dying to know why they made the name change. I'll agree that Crunchpad isn't the most eloquent of names, but Joojoo? I'm feeling some antisemitism in this company. Pretty soon, everyone's going to want to "own a Joojoo". I thought we were past this.

What this device is good for:
Web browsing
and...
Well, that's pretty much it. It's operating system is a modified version of Linux that has been stripped of almost all functionality. Want to run an iPhone app? Sorry, no can do. Want to run any sort of Linux application? Again, sorry.

The final blow to the device is it's $500 price tag. Really? I'm not sure of anyone who is going to spend $500 for a web browser. Add some Linux functionality and I may be tempted, until then this looks like a fun toy for the rich.

(via CNET news)

East Coast Gay-Off?

2009-12-01T17:21:00.006-05:00

The still too close to call mayor's race in Atlanta has turned, well, fabulous. With gay people compromising over 12 percent of the vote in Atlanta, there is a race to be the more gay candidate. It's time for you to decide:

Mary Norwood (left), Kasim Reed (right)

Mary is pro gay marriage while Kasim would only like to see civil unions. It's nice to see that even though America is violently homophobic sometimes that there are still some places where it's good to be gay.

So, it's up to you, who is more gay?

(via The L.A. Times)

Google is Taking Over the World

2009-11-30T18:35:00.005-05:00

Google's new feature Sidewiki allows you to comment on every web page you come across. Thus proving that Google bought way more servers than it's ever going to use.

The feature is slated as a way to explain what a web page is about. I can't imagine that the comments are going to stay productive or in any way civilized. I can just imagine the shit storm that's going to happen on Answers in Genesis or any other controversial web page.

Click for Sidewiki's homepage

Good luck with the server overload Google.

It's Jesus!

2009-11-30T17:33:00.009-05:00

He's appeared in pancakes and on doors. And he won't stop until we realize that he appears on arbitrary objects to make us feel better.

Jesus, or something.

It looks like the virgin Mary to me, or an alien (see the antenna cleverly disguised as steam holes). Mary Jo (the woman who discovered Jesus) says that "life is going to be good" and that this is proof that "he's listening". Maybe you're just bad at ironing clothes, and can't do it without burning them. But, of course, that's all God's plan too.

(via KansasCity.com)

Texas Bans Marriage

2009-11-18T16:56:00.003-05:00

I guess I'm being something of a gay rights activist today, but this one is too funny to pass up. In an attempt to prevent gay people from getting married, Texas lawmakers may have inadvertently banned all marriage in the state. I guess that's Texas for you.

The clause in question says that "marriage in this state shall consist only of the union of one man and one woman." Ok, on point so far, moving on. "This state or a political subdivision of this state may not create or recognize any legal status identical or similar to marriage." Oops, the state can't recognize anything identical to marriage? Hmm, what is identical to marriage. Oh, that's right, marriage.

The apparent intention of this badly worded clause was to prevent civil unions and domestic partnerships for same sex partners. It does that, but they went a little too broad. So Texans, until this constitutional amendment can be repealed or changed, no marriages for anyone. Thank Greg Abbott for his mistake.

(via Miami Herald)

Homophobes Boycott Scholastic

2009-11-18T15:03:00.003-05:00

I think gay bigotry has reached an all time high. These crazies are boycotting an entire publisher (Scholastic Books) over one book, that doesn't have anything to do with gay people. They are boycotting because one of the four main characters happens to have lesbian parents. The book, "Love Ya Bunches" is targeted toward 9-12 year olds. Which of course makes it all the worse, we wouldn't want our children to not be bigots.

This is the product description from Amazon:

What do Katie-Rose, Yasaman, Milla, and Violet all have in common? Other than being named after flowers, practically nothing. Katie-Rose is a film director in training. Yasaman is a computer whiz. Milla is third in command of the A list. And Violet is the new girl in school. They’re fab girls, all of them, but they sure aren’t friends. And if evil queen bee Medusa— ’scuse me, Modessa—has her way, they never will be. But this is the beginning of a new school year, when anything can happen and social worlds can collide . . .

Told in Lauren Myracle’s inventive narrative style—here a fresh mix of instant messages, blog posts, screenplay, and straight narrative—Luv Ya Bunches, the first in a four-book series, is a funny, honest depiction of the shifting alliances and rivalries that shape school days, and of the lasting friendships that blossom from the skirmishes.

Where is the pro-gay message? How homophobic do you have to be to scour through all of the books your children read, paranoid about gay characters. Of course, these people see the secret gay agenda behind Scholastic Books:

Clearly, homosexual activists recognize the potential Scholastic Books has to transform the views of impressionable children.

Clearly. I agree, children are impressionable to being "nice" and recognizing everyone as "equal". We have to work together while they're young to turn them into little hate filled bigots, just like their parents.

The rest of the message lists the way you can contact Scholastic Books and harass them. I sincerely hope Scholastic doesn't back down on this one.

End of the World?

2009-11-18T11:26:00.007-05:00

The large hadron collider (LHC) is expected to be online by this Christmas. Some ~~crazy~~ people think that this device, that accelerates tiny particles to nearly the speed of light, could cause a black hole to form, destroying the world. Fortunately, no scientists that anyone takes seriously are saying this.

The LHC was expected to come online around this time last year, but has been fraught with problems. First, it was inadvertently flooded with helium. Then magnets fused together, causing failure. Somehow a bird dropped bread crumbs into the machine, causing bad readings.

These problems have inspired Dr. Nielsen, who was interviewed by the New York Times, to say that the LHC is destined to fail. He posits that the particles the LHC will create (Higgs-Boson particles) will be so abhorrent to nature, that they will send ripples back in time. Thus preventing the device from working. Right, if only there were evidence for him saying that rather than "Oh, bad things keep happening to the LHC, that's a strange coincidence".

You may wonder how we would know if the world was ending (due to the LHC). Well luckily, someone has set up a website with up to the minute information on whether the LHC has destroyed the world. Click here for an update.

(via BrandX)

Christians Pro "Hate Crimes"

2009-11-18T09:03:00.003-05:00

A couple of weeks ago, President Obama passed the new hate crimes law "Matthew Shepard and James Byrd Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act". Christians are screaming foul. They say this violates their first amendment rights. Your first amendment right to hate people? I think I missed that one.

As protest, Christians held a rally, quoting bible verses such as "And they that commit such things are worthy of death." I wonder if Jesus would be out there protesting loving people. Jesus must have said something about homosexuality being wrong. Oh wait, he didn't. Go home Christians.

(via WorldNetDaily)

Oh Indiana, Why am I not Surprised?

2009-11-17T18:30:00.001-05:00

Indianapolis schools ban "Alternative spirituality/belief" websites. This includes Wicca, Witchcraft, Satanism, and of course Atheism. Wait, what? Since when is Atheism "Alternative spirituality" or even an alternative belief for that matter. There are far more people that say they don't believe in God (~9%) then there are that identify as Jews (~2%).

The official policy goes on to say that alternative spirituality/belief "Includes sites that endorse or offer methods, means of instruction, or other resources to effect real events through the use of spells, incantations, curses, and magic powers". Not only do they have no idea how badly they miscategorized "Atheism", they also seem to believe that real events in fact can be influenced by "magic".

Of course, they don't ban the bible and all of it's sexual acts and murder, or other "main stream" religions. Those are acceptable crazy beliefs. My opinion of Indiana (especially the Indianapolis public school system, which has enough problems as it is) is going down by the day.

Don't Respect My Religion (or Lackthereof)

2009-11-17T12:30:00.000-05:00

The Purdue newspaper published an article today titled "If religions are fated to clash, let's clash with respect". I hold the position that you only respect things that deserve respect. The religions she lists that we should respect are "Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, Wicca, Taoism, Pastafarianism". How about those with no religion? We don't have to respect those people? Or did she sneak "Pastafarianism" in there to appease the Atheists?

The message I get from just the first paragraph is that it's better to worship something ridiculous (i.e. Flying Spaghetti Monsters, Jesus, etc.) than not to worship anything at all. Great, so I can worship a potted plant and get more respect from Kelly than if I live my life based on evidence.

She goes on to tell a story about how a Christian was appalled at how children in other countries are taken to worship Buddha. This same lady apparently doesn't see the parallels between those children worshiping Buddha and her children worshiping Jesus. At least those children don't ceremonially eat Buddha every week.

The article goes down hill from there. "I’m a Christian, but I do not look at other religions as wrong in any way." If she doesn't look at other religions as wrong in "any way" then why is she a Christian? You have to look at other people's belief as wrong in some way, sorry, that's how it works. Not to mention that your religion (Christianity) specifically mentions that everyone else is wrong in every way, and they are all going to hell. Kelly can look over small technicalities like this.

She goes on to scold the Christian that was bad mouthing the Buddhists. Why is religion automatically off limits for any sort of critical analysis?

"As long as the religion is not harming anyone, what difference does it make? I’m firmly against any religion that believes in, say, murdering for fun, but that was clearly not the case." She did say she was a Christian right? I hate to break the news to you, but the Christian God seems to kill, and tell other people to kill, quite a lot. Not to mention the bigotry and hate spread throughout the bible.

"When settlers came to the United States to try to acquire land, we all know they were not very nice to the Native Americans. In addition to their kind gifts of small pox blankets, the settlers forced many Native Americans to convert to some form of Christianity. Native American religions have been lost because of this. These religions were usually very spiritual and nature-oriented, and some featured female deities, which is rare in present culture." Some featured female deities?! Are we deciding what to believe based on our feminist leanings now? Right, that sounds like a fun God, so I'll believe that one. Who needs evidence when you have personal preference.

This version of "respect" seems to mean ignore your differences and move on with your life (there's something to be said for that). I'm going to give this one a try, I'm going to ignore Kelly's strange ideas and move on with my life.

Class Registration

2009-11-16T17:30:00.000-05:00

This is going to be a rant. But it's my blog and I'll rant if I want to. I had a wonderful time, as I do every semester, registering for next semester's classes.

Here at Purdue we get certain time slots for signing up for classes, based on year in school and (maybe?) academic achievement. Which means if you're lucky enough to get an early time slot, then you might get the classes you want for the next semester. As if this isn't a problem enough, at the beginning of every time slot, everyone else that shares your time is furiously clicking the refresh button on their browser to try to log in and get their classes before you. Is it not possible to enter your schedule beforehand and then have some computer program enter you into classes based on class standing/grades? Apparently not, Purdue would rather have us have an arbitrary contest over the internet. Maybe some Purdue administrator is getting a laugh out of it.

And So It Begins

2009-11-16T07:00:00.000-05:00

Yet another blog cluttering up the internet. I may not have too much time for this for now, as I spend a lot of time on my current project Reading and Critically Reviewing the Bible in 365 Days. But if I find a particularly interesting tidbit I'll probably post it on here. Of course, when I'm done with the bible, this blog will get all of my attention.